“After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, 'Do you understand what I was doing? You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them.’” (John 13:12-17 NLT)
Continuing our discussion of Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages, begun in this post, I turn our attention to the expression of love known as "Acts of Service."
Before I go into more detail about the this particular "love language", allow me to give you some further notes on the concept of love languages from a Biblical perspective.
First, God's Love Communicated
God's love was demonstrated to us when He communicated in our language by sending Jesus to become human. He also communicated to our need and to those in need. Jesus said in Luke 5:31 (ESV), “It is not those who are well who need a physician, but those who are sick.”
His love was demonstrated through Jesus and must be enacted by us. I John 3:18 (KJV) instructs us to not “love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.” This is because we are agents of His love to others. His love reaches others through our actions. When we only express love verbally and fail to back up that love with actions that confirm it, we are not showing the love of God at all. (See James 2:15-17 NLT)
We express God's love individually. We aren't all the same. God has given each of us a "heart language" for expressing and receiving love. It is part of how we have been shaped and how we show others the love God has given us for them. For some of us, the love language of "acts of service" is an easy one to demonstrate while for others of us it takes real effort and planning.
Some of us feel loved the most when someone expresses love to us through an act of service while still others don't value that expression of love as much as some other manifestation of love. The way we express and receive love is different from other people, even our spouse in most cases. This is why it is important to find out (or figure out!) in which ways do our spouse need us to demonstrate love in order to feel like their "emotional love tank" is being filled.
Now let's look at specifically the Love Language of Acts of Service.
What does an "Acts of Service" person look like? What are the characteristics of someone who most appreciates acts of service as the way they feel loved and cared for?
It is important to note that when doing something helpful for a person who like to receive acts of service as their primary love language, you must have a heart of service which is by nature humble. The act of service must meet their needs and must not be manipulative. Manipulation is selfishness which signals that pride is at work "And all of you, serve each other in humility, for 'God opposes the proud but favors the humble.'" (1 Peter 5:5 NLT)
The cost of service is another important component to expressing love to someone in this way. It should have a personal cost: if there is no input, there will be no love felt. Remember the story of Jacob in Genesis 29? He worked seven years for the privilege of marrying the girl he loved. The Bible records in Genesis 29:20 that the time flew by because his love for her was so strong.
Love must be the motivation for our expressions of love through service; love not only for the person but for God Himself to whom our acts of services are actually directed. (See Colossians 3:23 NLT)
Love must be the motivation for our expressions of love through service; love not only for the person but for God Himself to whom our acts of services are actually directed. (See Colossians 3:23 NLT)
Maybe you're reading this and thinking, "That sounds just like me! That's exactly how I like to show my love to others." You may be someone who expresses your love most easily and most often through acts of service. Beware of the Martha complex where she allowed her natural tendency to serve as an expression of love for Jesus to overshadow the more tangible form of love at the moment, quality time with Jesus. (See Luke 10:38-42 NLT)
Finally, Who does an "Acts of Service" person look like? The person whose primary Love Language is Acts of Service looks most like their Savior Jesus Christ who served and still serves His people.
Christ was yielded. In Matthew 28:20 (and Mark 10:45 NLT) Jesus says, “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and give His life as a ransom for many.” His purpose was to serve, and His example was to serve.
Also, Christ served at great cost. He gave of Himself in life for so many, serving to the point of exhaustion. He commands us to make Him known the same way. In
Christ also gave of Himself in death for you so that you might have eternal life through Him.
Matthew 5:14-16 Jesus states, “You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” He was an accurate representation of the Father's love to us and now He wants us to be that same representation of the Father's love to others—no matter the cost.
Christ also gave of Himself in death for you so that you might have eternal life through Him.
Think about these questions: In what ways does God want you to serve Him? In what ways does God want you to serve others? Is there someone in your life whose primary love language is acts of service? How can you better serve God and others this week?
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