Thursday, February 2, 2012

My Early Morning God

I'm getting up early twice a week these days. I've got a standing appointment with people I care about and I definitely see the arrangement as a beneficial one to me.

Sure, getting my feet to hit the floor at 5:15am isn't my idea of unbridled fun, nor do I consider myself the king of my craft. But neither of these sincerely held opinions deters me from reaching my higher goal: a 6am start time for basketball at a high school gym in South San Jose.

The only other recent appointments that have come close to raising my slumbering form anytime before the sun is up were airline flights and marriage counseling with a young guy before his work day started. That's it. I'm in no rush to shorten my sleep time for just anybody. And that has me concerned.

My heart is laid bare in light of what I currently prioritize. I am clearly saying loud and proud that the only things worthy of my early morning attention are my favorite sport, transportation, or another man's spiritual and emotional well-being.

Sure, I spend time with God every day, both in prayer and in reading His Word, but what if He were to ask for an early morning appointment with just the two of us? Would I show up? Would I even set my alarm?

Similar to my early basketball issues, I mistakenly view getting up early to spend time with God as a chore instead of a joy. Just like playing basketball with guys who are all better than me, I am tempted to view my own spiritual condition in light of how others match up. Wow, I think. I'm not as dedicated as them. Or, my love for God isn't as mature or as great as theirs. And I allow myself to get discouraged.

But I will never pursue holiness with a pure heart by viewing time with my Savior as a duty nor will I be content with my Father's view of me if I compare myself to how His other children interact with Him. Give me a heart to seek Yours, Jesus.

I rise early, before the sun is up; I cry out for help and put my hope in your words. (Psalm 119:147 NLT)

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